man, am I glad I'm going to be in a temperate and probably wet cowfield next week

I just got this from my landlord:

EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH IN EFFECT FROM TUES AFTERNOON THROUGH
WEDNESDAY EVENING.

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN TAUNTON HAS ISSUED AN EXCESSIVE HEAT
WATCH.WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM TUES AFTERNOON THROUGH WEDNESDAY
EVENING. THE WATCH INCLUDES ALL OF S. NEW ENGLAND EXCEPT CAPE
COD.MARTHA'S VINEYARD.NANTUCKET & BLOCK ISLAND.

DANGEROUS HEAT & HUMIDITY WILL AFFECT MUCH OF S. NEW ENGLAND
TUESDAY & ESPECIALLY WEDNESDAY.

TEMPS WILL SOAR WELL INTO THE 90S TUES AFTERNOON & WILL
APPROACH 100 DEGREES IN THE CT VALLEY REGION OF WESTERN
MASSACHUSETTS. THE COMBINATION OF HEAT & HUMIDITY WILL RESULT IN
HEAT INDICES OF UP TO 105 DEGREES TUES AFTERNOON.

WEDNESDAY WILL BE THE HOTTEST DAY OF THE WEEK AS HIGH TEMPS
REACH 100 DEGREES OVER MOST OF S. NEW ENGLAND. HEAT INDICES
ARE LIKELY TO REACH AROUND 110 DEGREES WED AFTERNOON.

IN ADDITION.OVERNIGHT LOWS IN THE LARGER URBAN CENTERS MAY NOT
FALL BELOW 80 DEGREES TUES NIGHT & WED NIGHT.PRESENTING
A CONTINUED DANGER FOR THOSE WITHOUT AIR CONDITIONING OR PROPER
VENTILATION.

THE UPCOMING HOT WEATHER WILL BE AN EXTREME EVENT FOR S. NEW
ENGLAND.& HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE A SERIOUS LIFE THREATENING
SITUATION IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN.ESPECIALLY FOR THE
ELDERLY.CHILDREN.& THOSE WHO WORK OUTSIDE.

PEOPLE IN S. NEW ENGLAND SHOULD PLAN ON ALTERING THEIR DAILY
ROUTINE IN ORDER TO REDUCE THE RISK OF HEAT EXHAUSTION.OR
WORSE.BEING A CASUALTY OF LIFE THREATENING HEAT STROKE.

AVOID STRENUOUS OUTDOOR ACTIVITY.ESPECIALLY FROM LATE MORNING
THROUGH THE EVENING.& SPEND TIME IN AIR CONDITIONING IF
POSSIBLE.

MAKE SURE ROOMS REMAIN PROPERLY VENTILATED IF AIR CONDITIONING IS
NOT AVAILABLE BY OPENING WINDOWS & USING FANS. THIS IS
ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT FOR THOSE IN THE URBAN CENTERS.

NO PERSON OR PET SHOULD EVER STAY IN AN ENCLOSED VEHICLE EVEN FOR
THE SHORTEST AMOUNT OF TIME. TEMPS QUICKLY RISE TO LIFE
THREATENING LEVELS.EVEN IF THE WINDOWS ARE PARTIALLY OPENED.

AN EXCESSIVE HEAT WATCH MEANS THAT DANGEROUSLY HOT TEMPS ARE
EXPECTED WITH HEAT INDICES OF 105 DEGREES OR GREATER.


My apartment's already a damned firebox, leaving aside this bullshit. Unfortunately, for general popular sanity, quality of living, and frequency of area metal shows, it doesn't get any better than Mass....at least not in the US anyways.