Every Shirt LXXXI: Tankard - The Morning After

shirt: Tankard - The Morning After
size: XL (EU)
vintage: 2006
provenance: festival

This shirt is one of my least favorite, despite having the wicked badass cover of probably my favorite Tankard record on the front. Why? Because it has that awesome graphic, and remains the smallest allegedly-XL shirt in my collection. This is debatably smaller than a US L, and, as discussed on other Tankard shirts, this is somewhat of an endemic problem with this band's merchandise. Seriously what the hell.


Also:


Wat drauf. I haz it. If you're familiar with who I am in real life, I can be prevailed upon to lug your band's small merch over to Germany and give it away at these festivals.

Every Shirt LXVIII: Tankard (Chinese)

shirt: Tankard - Chinese baseball ringer
size: XL (EU)
vintage: 2006
provenance: catalog

This is one of my favorite shirts, and probably the genesis of the Nuclear Blast catalog pull that it came from, both for the cool yet simple design, and because it combines two of my abiding passions in metal and language geekery. For those who don't indulge in the second, the Chinese characters translate to "beer mug", so if I were to wear this to a work function, my Taiwanese boss would rip on me, saying something like "why you wear a shirt that just says Tankard twice on it?" The first two are the part that says "beer", so practice writing it if you think you may sometime get stranded in interior China without a booze supply. The second character from the left, if you ever find yourself in that situation, just means "alcohol", making it a good candidate for the one Chinese glyph to keep around for emergencies.

Nin hao, ninmen yao pi jiu ma? Wo xihuan, he pijiu.
Xiexie...daxie, gege le.
((glub glub glub))
Wo.....wo ai ni. Wo ai niimen dou. DOU!!!!

(don't blame me for the absence of tone marks, or if the slang isn't correct...it's been three years.)

Every Shirt XLII: Tankard - We Still Drink The Old Ways

shirt: Tankard
size: 2XL (EU)
vintage: 2005
provenance: catalog

Ordered and delivered while I was in Germany, this shirt features a fat ugly cuss with a brimming beer glass on the front, and the slogan in the title on the back: Reinheitsgebot 1516. Pure Tankard, down to the last drop. I have a surprising amount of Tankard gear for someone whose primary residence is in North America, but this is, for the most part, the one that sees the most use.

It's a little odd considering that Tankard, and also many of their fans, are "beer-gut enabled", that their shirts are uniformly cut small. This one is probably the smallest 2X I own that wasn't bought in Asia, and the other two shirts further down in the pile are close-cut as well. Seriously, Gerre should try putting some of his band's merch on sometime.